Tender
by Achelesox
Summary: Quinn is super gay for Rachel,just like in the show,something happens to stop the whole repressed thing,so she's free to unleash her gayness. It's going to be fluff central, I'll try and put some angst in there, but I'm the happiest person in the world.
1. Chapter 1

Rachel had walked into school that morning with more of a purpose than she'd had in quite some time. Spotting Mr Shuester arguing with Santana at the far end of the corridor, she hurried over.

"Listen, there's no way you can actually be serious? You can't actually think that a song by an ex-spice girl could actually be considered Latino music? It takes more than a guitar and some Spanish lyrics!"

"Ok, Santana, while I respect your opinion..." Rachel rolled her eyes, knowing what was coming next, he had about as much respect for the students opinion as Sue Sylvester, and she at least usually did know best.

"I stand by my decision, we're singing Chico Latino and that's that. It's a great song, it even has Latino in the title! I don't know what more I can do for you Santana"

Santana rolled her eyes, and Rachel took that as a cue to launch into the speech she'd prepared.

"Listen Mr Shuester, I've been thinking about this a lot, and I feel I need a break from Glee for a while, a couple of weeks, at…"

She was interrupted by Mr Shuester, who had heard Santana's mumbling about picking an actual Latin song, and promptly given Santana detention.

"It's glee club, can you even give me detention? And more importantly, shouldn't you be dealing with Berry's diva fit?" She turned on Rachel "Why are you quitting now manhands? You have plenty of solos, what is it that's not quite to your highnesses liking now?"

"I know in the past my behaviour has been irreprehensible, and I really am extremely apologetic about that, but I can guarantee there are no external motivations this time, I just feel I've sunk myself completely into glee for too long, and I just want some time off. I'm not sure I want to compete this year."

"Rachel, if you're sure about this, that's fine. Santana, you most definitely have detention this afternoon."

"What? No! She can't just quit because she wants me time! That's ridiculous! You can't quit Berry, if you leave Glee I'll become happier and lose my awesome feared bitch reputation." Brittany stepped out from behind Santana

"Yeah Rachel, you're almost as good as I am, and we're way better than everyone else, I need someone good to back me up. Mr Shuester, I can't believe you gave us detention. That wasn't very nice of you."

"Guys, if Rachel wants leave, let her. Brittany, I didn't give you detention, you're fine."

"Well when you punish Santana, you punish me. Think about that, and how it makes you feel"

The bell rang, he threw his hands up in exasperation and left the three girls to their show down.

"Listen up Berry, because I'm only going to say this once. You're not quitting. You think slushie facials are bad now, well just wait until they become bi-daily and I start stirring cream and wasabi into them. You're staying in glee club, and you're not slowing down on the songs. We both know I get what I want, so just do as you're told!" With that she linked arms with Brittany and marched off to class.

Quinns day had been a perfectly average, perfectly boring one. She remember how it had been when she'd first become head cheerleader, every day had been exciting, she'd been able to boss practically everyone around, people cleared a path for her in the corridor, and looked at her with a mixture of excitement, trepidation and fear. She could literally feel the power she emanated as she glided through the hallways. Her life had consisted of simply being awesome, trying to keep Finn at her side with as little touching and kissing as possible, and torturing Rachel. Quinn spent way to much time thinking about Rachel. At first she tried to convince herself it was because she really hated her, she was really irritating, she had stupid clothes, whatever. Quinn herself, however, was far from stupid, and had soon realised that days where Rachel wasn't in were crap, when they didn't have some sort of bickering conversation she'd feel disappointed, and the only times she ever wanted to make out with Finn were after she'd had a big fight with Rachel. As much as she thought she'd like to know how it would feel to kiss Rachel, to smell her, to hold her, to fuck her, she'd logically reasoned that there were numerous reasons she'd never be able to act on it, among them her parents, Christianity, and the fact that she'd tortured her for so long now Rachel undoubtedly hated her. Everything had changed for Quinn now though. Since she'd had her baby, being on top hadn't really done anything for her. She no longer felt the power. Rachel had stopped bickering with her, and although she'd started to form a friendship with her at the beginning of Glee club, she'd had to shut it down, because she realised every time she was in close contact with Rachel her hormones had taken over. Quinn had come ridiculously close to just hopping on her one day; they'd been assigned a duet, and were practising in Rachels room. Only for the fact Rachel had kept insisting how awful being with Quinn was, reminding her that she really Quinn, she'd have made a move. She'd stood there in a short pink skirt and a navy tank top, no socks or shoes on, looking ridiculously fuckable, lecturing Quinn about trying to use their mutual dislike to channel more energy into their performance. It was way too much to handle, and Quinn had severed any hope of friendship to protect herself. Quinn had felt she'd sunk into herself a bit, like a collapsing snowman, afterwards, but her constant attempts to not pay attention to Rachel had started to work. Recently, she hadn't felt as strongly for the diva. Rachel had calmed down, she no longer argued with everyone, she'd lost some of her passion her unbreakable spirit had been a bit bent, but Quinn figured it was for the best, there were less fights in glee club, and she'd given up trying to organise glee socials, so Quinn had more free time, and less time to try and fight her attraction to the girl who dominated a scary amount of her time before sectionals and regional's last year.

It had started to rain before the end of cheerio's practise, so Sue had let them run in early. On their way in Santana had stopped Quinn, having spied Rachel sitting alone on the bleachers on one of the other sports fields.

"Listen Q, something is up with manhands. She wants to quit glee, I'm worried she's even more mentally unstable than usual, try and slap it out of her would you? That douchebag Shue gave me detention, so I'll call you later to see how you got on." She ran off inside. Quinn thought about going straight over to her, but decided that she'd wait and have a shower first and catch her in the library. Rachel never left school before six, and even though Quinn's crush had lessened, a wet Rachel was still something that wouldn't help the constant

"DON'T KISS HER!" mantra that ran through her head whenever they spoke face to face.

About twenty minutes later, Quinn headed up to the library to find Rachel and see what the story with her was. It didn't matter that they weren't friends. Rachel was the kind of girl who would literally let her emotions bleed out to anyone who asked her. There was no sign of her in the library, so Quinn went to choir room to see if she was practising. As she headed down the hall, she prayed Rachel wouldn't be in the middle of some super emotional love song. Quinn had always thought that given the chance, thanks to her excellent cheerio training and the fact she had almost half a foot on Rachel, she'd be able to sweep Rachel up into her arms with ease. She'd had that fantasy many times before, sitting in glee with her legs tightly pressed together, trying to ignore the actual ache that had developed between them.

Once again, however, there was no sign of her. Perhaps she had just gone home early. The rain had eased off a bit, it was now only drizzling. As she headed to her car with her backpack to drive home, she decided she just run over and check the pitches. She didn't actually think Rachel would still be there, but at least this way she'd feel she'd done her best to look for her when Santana called later. Santana was weird when it came to Rachel. Quinn knew Santana knew how she felt for Rachel, but they had never actually spoken of it. She knew Santana had stopped numerous slushie attacks meant for Rachel, easily convincing Puck, and putting the fear into Karofsky. She'd been there for the incident the day of the party where she'd let Puckermans sperm impregnate her, and she'd been kinder to her than Quinn had expected, she knew Santana had a soft side, but it was generally reserved for Brittany. When she spotted Rachel in the exact same spot she'd been in over half an hour ago, she knew Santana had noticed something apparently no one else had.

"RuPaul! What the hell are you doing sitting out here? What's wrong with you?" Quinn hadn't yelled at Rachel in a while, she felt a small stir of excitement at the thought of the reaction she was about to get, fired up Rachel was awesome. Instead however, Rachel just turned and looked at her.

"Sorry." She then resumed staring out into space. The shock softened Quinn a bit.

"Rachel, come on, what are you doing? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine ok. Just leave me."

"Why do you want to quit glee? Is this overly-dramatic thing of sitting out in the rain something to do with it too?"

"It doesn't matter ok. Everything is fine."

"Rachel you couldn't look less fine if I just told you wouldn't ever sing again. Cough it up. What's up?"

"Quinn, leave me alone. Why would I tell you anyway?" Rachel snapped a bit at the last bit, and Quinn saw her opening.

"There! You like to express yourself! That's why singing and glee is so important to you! Don't think I haven't noticed you've been kind of half-assed in glee recently, what's going on with you?"

"I'm just…. It's just" Quinn had never seen Rachel look so defeated. Without even realising she put her hand out on top of Rachels left one. "What the hell Quinn?" She weakly attempted to move her hand, but Quinn held on. "I don't care anymore ok. I just don't see the point. I don't have anything ok? I tried so hard to hold on to Glee, but you guys have made me realise that I'm not that talented. Watching you all cheer for Sunshine, realising that you guys had never done that for me, that you never would. If I cant win over a bunch of loser glee club kids how the hell am I ever going to get to Broadway. We came last at regionals. I'm not as talented as I thought. Before it was ok. It was ok that I had no friends, that not only did no one like me, people actively disliked me, because I had singing. But then things changed. My mother came into my life, something I've always fantasized about, and not only did she decide she didn't want me, or even want to know me, she picked you, she wanted your baby, I wasn't good enough for her. I really liked Jessie and he smashed an egg in my face. Then Finn came along, and for a little while I genuinely believed he liked me. He didn't. He just liked the way I knew him and knew how he could make the best of himself. And you, you can't even be bothered with me anymore, you never argue with me, and don't think I don't notice how hard you try to just avoid me" Tears ran down Rachels face, and Quinn could feel the familiar sting in her eyes and lump in her throat.

"Rachel I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. You are really talented, you're probably the only Lima loser that will actually escape this horrible little town, and I do like you."

"Quinn, you went from disliking me to just not caring, don't lie to me!"

"Rachel, listen to me, look me in the eye!" As Quinn stared at Rachel, she could see this little flicker, the little bit of hope, a little bit of Rachel, and decided to just go for it. She leaned in closer, so their noses were practically touching, hesitated for a second, and then softly pressed her lips against Rachels. Rachel pushed her right hand, in which she was holding something, against Quinns chest, but any attempt to push Quinn away was defeated by the fact that her lips were definitely as involved in the kiss as Quinns. Quinn sucked on Rachels incredible, swollen bottom lip, before she felt Rachels tongue beg for entrance. As Rachels tongue began to massage hers she reached up to Rachels right hand and closed her hand over it. It was then she became aware of two things. The first was that Rachel had been sitting in the rain for probably close to an hour, although it had stopped now, she was in fact soaking wet. The second was that she had something in her hand. A small, brown, circular container. Quinn gently grasped it and managed to make Rachel let go, seemingly without realising it. She broke the kiss and looked down.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Thanks you guys, my reviews are lovely! You people and your comments are really nice. Right so, chapter two. I know some people are all sensible and patient, but lets remember that this story is rated M, and the whole point is Quinn is super gay, like gayer than Ellen, Tegan, Sarah and the L word all put in a blender together. Thanks for reading, and SUPER THANKS for those who actually write reviews, you go Glen Coco! I love you all. (This would seem a lot more profound and true if it was written on toilet paper.) And if you get that reference straight away you may actually be my soul-mate. Big gay love til next time!**

The label read Rozerem. Her heart stopped beating. She knew exactly what these were. The same sleeping pills they gave to depressed people, the ones her sister had tried to overdose on before she had escaped from the stifling, conservative Petri-dish Quinn was still trapped in.

"Rachel no!" She flung the pills as far across the field as she could and pulled Rachel close to her. She began to gently kiss every inch of Rachels face, sobbing and feeling the tears stream down her cheeks.

"Quinn, Quinn, come on, they're just sleeping pills, I just get them for when my Dad's are out of town and I've to sleep in the house by myself, it's ok, it's ok." Quinn looked her straight in the eye,

"Promise me Rachel; promise me you won't ever do that! Swear to me, swear on your life, swear on your Dads lives, please Rachel"

"Quinn" Rachel leaned in and kissed her, "I'm sorry, come on" With that she stood up, took Quinns hand and led her underneath the bleachers. "I wasn't, I mean, I'm sorry you're so upset, it's just, I didn't want that, I don't…" Quinn looked at her, and seeing how earnest Rachel looked as she rambled on uncomfortably, decided the only thing she could do was kiss her again. As their kiss deepened again Quinn could feel Rachels hands in between their bodies, literally inches away from her nipples.

"Wait, wait, sorry Quinn, I don't want to stop this, believe me when I say I'm really, really enjoying this, but my feet are really wet, I need to take my shoes and my tube socks off." She peeled off her socks, and stood in front of Quinn, realising that it really wasn't just wet feet that were making her feel uncomfortable. "My sweater is really, really wet, and my hair is starting to drip down my back, and my underwear is…."Quinn reached up and took the ponytail out of her hair, letting her long blonde locks fall down, framing her face. She scraped up Rachels hair and tied it back.

"I have a spare hoodie in my backpack, you can have it. You should probably take your bra off too, because otherwise it'll just soak through." She took out the cream fleece lined hoodie, and handed it to Rachel, who began to blush.

"Ok turn around. I don't want you to look." Quinn did, wondering exactly what Rachels naked body would look like. TOWEL! She bent down and routed to the bottom of the bag to pull the towel out, and couldn't help sneaking a peek through her legs. Rachel had just taken off her bra, and Quinn stopped breathing at the sight. She'd always imagined Rachel with an awesome body, but everything about her, from her smooth tanned collarbone to her hard pink nipples, to the white bikini line around her beautiful, round breasts, to where the top of her skirt rested on the curves right above her hips, everything was incredible. Quinn was sure it was the closest to perfect she would ever get, especially seeing as how she was definitely going to burn in hell for the super gay thoughts that occupied her mind anytime Rachel popped into it.

"I have a… A towel if you want it Rach"

"Quinn! You're totally looking!"

"I'm sorry, I was just, there was, towel?" She turned properly around, figuring she'd been caught so she might as well enjoy it. Rachel still hadn't put the hoodie on.

"It's ok, I kind of wanted you to look" Rachel smirked at her. Quinn leaned in again and began to kiss her, hands resting on the cool skin on Rachels forearms. As Rachel began to moan and run her fingers through Quinns hair, she slowly moved her hands together, connecting them on her stomach before pushing them upwards and grazing the base of Rachels boobs. Rachel pushed herself forward into Quinn, who moved her hands further up, running her fingers over Rachels hot, pert nipples. She trailed her kissed down Rachels neck, licking and sucking as much skin as she could. Her mouth made its way to her fingers, and she began to gently wrap her lips around Rachels left areola.

"Fuck Quinn, baby, that feels so fucking good" Quinn continued to caress her until she noticed Rachel was beginning to shiver.

"Ok, ok, put the hoodie on. I don't want you to die and end up in Jewish hell for this."

Rachel pulled it on, and Quinn couldn't help but notice how sad she looked.

"Thanks. Is this? I mean, today's been so strange, and really great, but…"

"Rachel, I told you to take your underwear off"

"I did, I mean you just, you know full well I took it off" Quinn bent her knees so she was the same height as Rachel, and began to rub her leg just above the knees.

"I meant all your underwear." She worked her hands upwards, and dropped to her knees. She began to kiss the inside of one of Rachels legs, and looked up, in between kisses,

"I want to kiss you, I want to taste you, I want you to feel exactly how much I want you, ok?" She nodded in reply unable to speak. "Lie down" Rachel lowered herself, and as she laid back, Quinn crawled up, leaving her hands tantalisingly close to Rachels now hot, wanting centre, kissed her on the mouth, smiled at her, and made her way back down. She hooked her fingers around the edge of Rachels panties and pulled them down, revealing her pulsating, wet core. She took the top of her thumb and gently began to massage the top of Rachels clit, while she kissed the insides of her thighs. She moved her lips across slowly, pressed her lips to Rachels slit and licked her way up and down.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck" Quinn could feel the heat between her own legs building at a furious pace, but continued to kiss, nibble, lick and swirl her tongue around Rachels opening. Although she'd never done this before, she'd fantasized about doing it to the girl beneath her enough times to feel a little confidence in what she was doing. Well, that plus the fact Rachel was dripping wet, and making noises that, in a year of glee club where she listened to Rachel warm up and sing at least twice a week, she'd never heard any even remotely like the ones she was making now. She plunged her tongue into Rachel and felt her walls tighten, relax, tighten, relax, and began to use both thumbs on either side of her hard clit, rubbing it dexterously while Rachel began to buck her hips faster, before she collapsed into her orgasm. Quinn made me way back up, kissing Rachels neck, before settling her body sideways half draped over the other girl, who was now practically comatose. She pushed her nose against Rachels, and gently kissed her lips, leaving traces of Rachels happiness behind. Rachel opened her eyes.

"That was… That was the best thing I've ever felt in my entire life." She looked into Quinns eyes, who could now see the bliss begin to fade as the fear began to creep back in. She leaned forward and kissed her. She then stood up, and pulled Rachel to her feet. She hugged the smaller girl.

"We need to talk. Not here though" She looked at Rachel again, and leaned into kiss her, when she was suddenly interrupted by a loud, and very close

"Quinn! Quinn, you out here?" She took Rachels hand and began to make her way out of the bleachers.

"Santana, we're here" She looked around see all the colour had drained from the other girls face, just as Santana and Brittany met them at the side of the bleachers.

"Well, well, well. What do you think went on here Brit?"

"Quinn went down on Rachel. And boobs. There was some boob touching too." Rachel blushed immediately, turning her face from geisha white to a colour even a redneck would have considered sunburnt.

"What? Why would, how… Um what?"

"Give it up, Britney has sex radar, you won't get anything past her."

"Well that, and Quinn has your panties in her hands. That helps too"


	3. Chapter 3

Rachel could feel the heat building in her chest. She was starting to freak out, big time. Her head was still a blur from what had just happened. Had that really happened? Seriously, perhaps Quinn or Santana had drugged her, and maybe what had just happened, actually didn't happen. It was too much, she could feel her breath quicken, she couldn't regulate it, and the beginnings of the black swirls were starting to kick in. She was going to have a panic attack. She was going to have a panic attack at the edge of the football field in front of Quinn, Santana and Brittany. They were staring at her, watching her as the part of her brain marked calmness and serenity grabbed it's hat and ran the fuck out of there.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is with the wheezing, chill!" Santana's voice snapped Rachel out of her inner monologue, but it now meant that she could actually hear how erratic her own breathing was, which only served to make it worse.

"Rachel, if you forget to breathe you will die. It happens all the time. I think you go in first. Then out. Maybe it's the other way around. Who knows? It's like that problem with the chicken. And the road. But, the answer is different all the time, so that wont help." Brittany wasn't making sense, but that didn't matter too much to Rachel, as she didn't usually anyway. Santana understood her because she loved her, and Finn seemed to get her a lot too, but that was only because they were on a similar intellectual level. Quinn was super intelligent and friends with her, and she definitely didn't understand half of what she came out with, so Rachel reckoned it was fine to just let it slide. None of this however, was doing anything to slow down her crazy breathing, and she could feel her knees begin to give way as the black circles continued to grow.

"Rachel!" She felt Quinn grab her arm in an effort to hold her up. For someone who looked so delicate and feminine, Quinn sure was strong. "Breathe for me like you're about to sing. Like you breathe in glee club." Rachel latched onto this idea, and slowly felt the blood return to her hands, which at that stage were feeling cold and kind of dead.

"Damn, Quinn! That's impressive. I can't believe you tried to bury your Berry love for so long. Also, bitches, it's going to rain again. We need to go. We can head to my house. Berry, you're coming, just don't tell my mother your name. I'm warning you, it's for you own good. Do you need to call Elton and David to tell them you're coming over to mine?"

"Wait, first off my dads aren't called Elton and David…"

"It's a joke Berry. As in ha ha? Or did you just up and hyperventilate your sense of humour right out there?"

"Oh yeah, like Elton John! I've actually never heard that before, even though it seems like a very obvious joke. I guess it just isn't mean enough." Rachel felt the amusement from the joke drop off her face like a stone, but quickly felt Quinns hand slip into hers. This whole Quinn thing was extremely confusing, but on top of that, the two main feelings that managed to wrangle there way out of the mess were fear and desire. She could actually feel the blood racing through her hand, she was sure Quinn could feel it too, it was so strong, it felt like her heart was in her hand. Her heart was in her hand and Quinn was holding it. She could crush it or cradle it. This was without a doubt the strangest day of Rachels entire life. "Anyway, my dads are away for the week, my house is empty, so I don't have to call anyone."

"Excellent, screw my house with my crazy siblings and my over-bearing mother, we're going to yours." Rachels head kicked back into crazy overtime. She massively reined herself in and yet people still thought she was incredibly over-dramatic. She considered the various ways this could turn out. The cheerios could tie her up, beat the crap out of her, and leave her to die. Maybe leave a jawbreaker in her mouth like in that movie. They could electrocute her with common everyday household wires. They could actually be her friends and hang out and watch movies and eat popcorn and sing together. Or they could drown her in her own bath tub. They could maybe do something else fun, all together…. Rachel felt herself blush deeply yet again. Jeez, Quinn made her crazy horny, there was no way she'd ever have thoughts like that otherwise.

"Rachel, do you have a switch to make your face change colour? Why does it keep doing that? Can you make it green?" What Quinn had to done to her earlier was the most intense, incredible thing that had ever happened to her, so if there was any chance of a repeat, Rachel decided letting them come hang out with her was worth the possibility of a violent death. On the plus side, a violent death of a young, extremely talented ingénue at the hands of three beautiful cheerleaders had Lifetime written all over it. There would be huge amounts of singing in it, so much so that perhaps the casting people would look outside the usual retro-popular acting circle and cast Broadway performers. Her mother would be her idol, Idina Menzel, and she herself could be played by the young actress she'd been to see in Spring Awaking, Lea Michele. Idina seemed to take roles based on character and writing, venturing into lots of different projects, but Lea was Broadway only, with the one tiny exception of an episode of Third Watch a few years ago. It would be harder to convince her. Perhaps she'd have time to write Lea a letter when they got home before she was tragically snuffed out, explaining exactly why she should play her.

"Right, fine, you can come to my house. If you want to watch a movie I have every film Barbara Streisand has ever been in, not to mention every film version of every Tony award winner available since they began in 1947. We do not have a Netflix account."

"You go with Quinn, and Britt and I will follow, we need to stop off at my house anyway. I remember your house from the spray paint incident a few years ago." Santana was referring to the time someone had bizarrely graffitied the outside of the Berrys house. Instead of the horrific homophobic stuff one would expect, someone had sprayed

"FUCK YOU JESUS! GOD LOVES THE GAYS! HAPPY HAPPY GAY GAY!" Truth be told, Rachels dads had been kind of amused by it. It was washable paint too, but they'd left it there for almost a week, just because even though it was senseless vandalism of their private property, it sure beat the smug, self-righteous homophobic glances and stares they encountered the first time they'd wandered into church one Sunday. A group which was of course, led by the Fabrays. Rachel couldn't help but laugh at the thought of what they'd do if they knew what Quinn had recently done to her. They were probably all repressed gays anyway. Rachel was pretty sure 99.99% of all homophobes were. The rest were neurologically impaired.

"What are you laughing at?" Quinns smile pulled Rachel from her thoughts. "Lets roll" Rachel let go of her hand.

"Wait" For a brief moment she saw the worry that was bubbling up inside her etched all over Quinns face.

"What is it? Do you not want to….?" Rachel laughed,

"No I do, it's just I'm still in my bare feet. I just need to put my gross wet shoes on again."

"Well there is another option. I could be romantic and carry you" Rachel blushed, yet again

"Really? You'd carry me? All the way to the car?"

"Well no, I was joking, I have flip-flops you can wear. But damn, it really did make your eyes actually brighten, I'll have to remember that for future dates." Rachel bit her lip.

"Like future dates as in days in the future or future dates as in us and where we'd build a Barbara Streisand model out of Lego while sitting under the stars?" Quinn couldn't contain herself, and burst out laughing,

"Rach" She appeared to be finding it hard to get words out between all that laughing "Rachel seriously, that's the dorkiest thing I've ever heard in my entire life!" Rachel felt the indignation in her rise.

"Excuse me, nothing that ever in anyway involves Barbara Streisand could ever be considered dorky. I'll have you know…" She didn't get to finish her sentence, on account of the fact that Quinn apparently found her so called dork side extremely appealing, and was now kissing her again. This time, it felt different to Rachel, it was still gentle and really soft, but something had changed. Before Rachel had a chance to figure out what it was, Quinn broke the kiss. She pouted, hoping the combination of a sad face and a swollen bottom lip on display would entice Quinn back.

"Your dorkiness makes me happy, ok?" Rachel beamed, that's what it was, happy Quinn kisses were lovely. "Come on, we have to go, at this rate Santana's going to get to your house before we do" Quinn produced the flip-flops from her backpack, and once again locked her fingers into Rachels as they headed for the car.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Ok, I know it's been months since I started this story, I'm really sorry to everyone who reviewed and favourited and story alerted it, it's just plain rude to wait so long, but I was busy and then I didn't like this chapter so I kind of forgot about it, but then I wanted to write the stuff that comes next so, I don't know, bear through it and the next couple of chapters will be better maybe? Anyway, thanks for reading!**

As Quinn sat in the car, waiting for the lights to change, it occurred to her that if the silence between her and Rachel was making her feel slightly awkward, it could well be torture for Rachel. She was just finding it hard to actually even make conversation, what with everything that was going on in her head. She'd gotten past pining for Rachel and imagining a multitude of fantasies where one of them would declare their love and it would of course, be reciprocated immediately. Finding her all sad and broken, kissing the tears off her face, and then going down on her under the bleachers had never come up. She had moved past it and imagined that she go off to college, sleep with a bunch of girls, find a nice one and settle down with her, and then in ten years time, she'd go see the massive smash-hit Broadway show Rachel was currently starring in and reminisce about what could have been. Perhaps she'd even get the chance to speak to Rachel afterwards, see her in her element, how happy being where she was meant to be made her. She'd probably be married, and hopefully to a nice guy who loved her for exactly who she was, and not some insecure jerk-off like Finn who'd crush her dreams and ruin everything. She was sorry for a lot of things that she'd done to Rachel, but making sure she didn't end up with Finn wasn't one of them. She took her left hand.

"As dumb as this sounds, your hands are highly significant to me Rachel" She look over and noticed Rachel turning a deep shade of red,

"We haven't even…. I mean I haven't…" which puzzled her for a second

"NO! Not like that, sorry sorry sorry!" Jeez, if that's where Rachel's mind went immediately then she was probably just as big of a horn-dog, which meant really good things for Quinn if she could sort her shit out and not mess this up.

"No, it's because, crap I don't even know if I should tell you this story. I'm so so sorry Rachel, for everything I've done to you"

"Well now you have to tell me. It won't hurt me as much as you think. Sometimes I knew you hated being mean to me. I could see it in your eyes, like you didn't want to say the things you were saying. For a while I'd convince myself it was just because I had a crush on you, it was all in my head, because I didn't want to like someone who could behave so heinously towards me, but then there were other things, like how you never once slushied me, or how you blackmailed Sue Sylvester into getting that year book photo for Glee, when I was the only one wanted it, or.."

"Wait, how did you know about that?"

"Oh yeah, Brittany told me. She was sitting in the library with the year-book one day, sharpie in hand, when I found her. I presumed she was going to deface it, so I asked her to please just leave me nose as it was, as you know Quinn, my nose is very important to me, and she told me she kind of felt bad and wasn't sure she was actually going to draw on it because you had gone to so much effort to get it for me. Then I asked her to expand and she blew her cheeks out and stretched her arms out, which although now I find humorous, at the time was highly frustrating, but then I got her to tell me, and when I asked her why you'd done it, she said Santana had told her that Quinn was a complex person, with a lot of feelings, and some of them were opposites, like how she could dislike you, but actually want you to be happy, but that nobody was allowed to talk to her about it. And then I remembered how mad you looked when I hugged Mr Shue and thanked him for getting us the photo. At the time I thought you were annoyed about being in the photo, but you were jealous, weren't you?"

"Damn right I was! That man is a glory-hogging ass-hat! Honestly, he'd take credit for anything, Figgins told me that it was Sue who saved Glee club after Regionals"

"What? No, Sue hates us! That can't be true!"

"It gets better! After my mom finally wised up and kicked my dad out, she went on a few dates with Rod Remington. Anyway, he came over for dinner one night, and he told me that Sue had argued with the other judges during Regionals about how much better we were, and get this, he looked at the ballets, and Sue actually voted for us! I hinted that I knew to her, with the intention of actually saving it until I need something to blackmail her with, but then I realised, she doesn't hate Glee club at all. She hates Will, and she's not intellectually stimulated at all in the staff room at school, so torturing that smug jerk seems like a better way to spend her free time."

"Wow. I suppose that makes sense? Anyway, just tell me what the weird hand comment was about already!"

"Fine. But I really am sorry. So anyway, it was when we were twelve. We were on that pee-wee soccer team, you, me and Santana, remember?"

"Yes" Rachel replied curtly, "Damn soccer, I remember, go on"

"Well I'd been thinking about you a lot. Like a lot, a lot, first thing in the morning, last thing at night. You'd only been in Lima for about a month, and I didn't know why at the time, but I was kind of obsessed with you and your gay dads. It was silly, because I'd had what two or three brief conversations with you? Anyway, you moved to Lima, you went to our church, my dad had a fight with the Pastor, and we moved to a different church, where the new Pastor told me just how wrong and disgusting your family was, and how you'd all burn in hell for all your diabolical sinful behaviour. I tried to tell him you were nice, and that you couldn't be a bad person, and he told me that if I became friends with you I'd burn too." Quinn could hear her own voice cracking. "So anyway, we were playing soccer one day, and Santana had taken out the other goalie, you had the ball in front of an open goal, and somehow, you missed. You looked so sad Rachel, I really wanted to run over and hug you. But I didn't just want to hug you. I wanted to kiss you on the cheek. And then I was staring at your hands thinking about how I like to hold them, and that was when I first realised, the reason I kept thinking about you wasn't because you were new or because you had two dads, it was because I liked you. And at that exact moment, Santana got all worked up and was like

"Why are you staring at Berry like that! She missed the easiest shot on the planet! Say something! Why are you looking at her like that? WAIT, DO YOU LIKE HER?" and then the panic and the Pastors words kicked in, and all I could think was those are two pretty girl hands I want to touch, and I want them to touch me, and how wrong and bad that was, how I should only want boy hands like that…"

"So that's were man-hands came from. I remember that day too Quinn. I thought you were going to be my friend, and then I missed that goal because I had a sore foot and it was from an illogical angle anyway, and suddenly you unleashed this torrent of homophobic abuse at me for no apparent reason. Even Santana looked really shocked. I thought you were just really mad because you were super competitive and that once I showed you how good I was at singing and dancing you'd forgive me and we could be friends"

"I'm so sorry Rachel. I really fucked up. You've always been the bravest person I've ever known, and I'm such a useless coward. I think I kind of fucked Santana up that day too. I found out later that the day before she'd made out with Brittany for the first time, and she was excited to tell me after soccer, and I made her ashamed. I made her ashamed of who she was, and afraid to tell the people she loved how she felt."

"Quinn, come on, you were twelve, it wasn't you, it was your dad and the devil-Pastor! You should be sorry for what you did, but I don't think you can really accept full responsibility for it."

"But I knew Rachel, I knew what I was saying was horrible and wrong and spiteful, I knew I was hurting you"

"Just, I don't know what to say to you Quinn. Just fuck it. I know you're sorry. I knew you were sorry when you said it. The past is the past, if you can't learn from your mistakes you can't ever let them go and if you try and carry them around with you they'll only slow you down and hold you back. If I can get over it then so can you"

"I don't understand how you can forgive me."

"Those feelings you have aren't one sided, I knew I was crazy about you the first time I met you. My dads warned me about your dad, and how I should be prepared for you to hate me, and that made me feel better, but that's the thing Quinn, I never once thought you actually hated me. Even though you were occasionally awful to me, I still saw what a good person you were at heart, how funny and kind you could be, and how sometimes you were just as lonely as me even when you were surrounded by your friends. Please pull over Quinn, if you try to drive with tears like that in your eyes you'll kill us both."

"It's fine, we're nearly at your house anyway"

"Quinn Fabray, pull this car over right this instant!" Quinn did as she was told. Once the car had stopped the flood of tears she'd been trying to suppress poured out. Rachel leaned forward and unclipped her seat belt and Quinns. She wiped some of the tears away with her thumbs and pulled Quinns body into hers for a hug.

"At least you're being brave now. That counts for a lot Quinn. More than you realise. Just because something is hard doesn't mean it's not worth it."

They sat in the car silently, Quinns wrapped around Rachel, her head tucked into the blondes neck, for a few minutes more before heading to Rachel's.


	5. Chapter 5

**Changed the title because I hated the old one. :)**

As they pulled up to the house, they saw Santana's car parked in the driveway. Santana was leaning against the bonnet, watching Brittany perform some crazy epileptic crunk moves on Rachel's front lawn.

"Jeez bitches what took you so long?" She grimanced "Wait! No, I don't want to know actually! Britt here kept me entertained, although I'm pretty sure she launched one of her dangly earrings on to your roof Berry! Let's head in already" Rachel led them into the house, and launched into a nervous ramble

"Ok, would you guys like a tour? Can I get you a drink? I need to put my wet clothes in the wash. Also if you.." Brittany reached out and began to rub under Rachel's left shoulder blade which immediately silenced the girl.

"When Santana gets nervous, she likes me to massage her right here"

""BRITTANY SUSAN PIERCE! That is one of our secrets, one of the ones we do NOT tell other people. Besides, I do not get nervous. I am a stone-cold flawless bitch, and nerves are for worthless peons who are below me!" Quinn began to giggle.

"Come on Santana, I've been your friend for pretty much my entire life, I know you, I know how nervous you get!"

"Seriously, let's remember I know you too, there are things…."

"Wait really?" Rachel interrupted, looking slightly shocked "You get nervous? Santana Lopez gets nervous?"

"She throws up before all our Glee competitions"

"BRITTANY! SERIOUSLY?"

"Santana, I know you have a lot of admirable qualities, you are a strong, determined woman but" Santana interrupted Rachel with a snarl

"But what, Rachel? What?" Rachel continued unfazed,

"But I never realised you were so brave."

"Oh. I did not think that's where you were going with that." She hummed slightly "Thank you? Anyway. Do you have any coke?" Rachel nodded and headed towards the kitchen.

"Yes, I'm sure there's a bottle in wait you don't mean cocaine do you?" Rachel whipped around, her eyes comically widened with horror, and Quinn couldn't help herself.

"Of course she means cocaine. But it's ok, if you don't have any we can just have a look through your dad's medicine cabinet. Pretty much every house has a bottle of ambien, valium, xanaax, we'll find something good to get fucked up on."

"Listen, I just can't be a part of that. I respect that it's your choice, and I mean I understand the appeal, I myself have consumed pot brownies and smoked a joint before but I refuse to go any further than that. Drugs can be a very destructive thing for creative people such as myself, they completely interfere with your inspiration and motivation to achieve excellence. Why do you all look so strange?" All three girls stood there with their mouths wide open.

"Sorry, Rachel, did you just tell us that you've done pot before? Is this one of those times where I'm asleep but I think I'm awake? Santana" Brittany reached for Santana's hand "Please explain to me what exactly is happening?"

"Fuck if I know"

"Rachel I was joking! I've never touched drugs of any kind! Where did you even get it?"

"Well the first time, Noah's nana accidently gave me on of her special brownies" Santana looked annoyed.

"How do you know Pucks nana? I fooled around with that boy for almost two years and he hid me under the stairs like I was Harry freaking Potter the couple of times she came over unannounced!"

"We were hanging out one day and his nana called because she needed him to change her water so he brought me along. And then she told me about her arthritis and how great Noah was at helping her while we were having tea and brownies, and right after I finished a big one, and Noah had about three she copped they were her special prescription ones. That was a fun day actually. Then Noah got a couple of joints and we smoked them on three separate occasions, and it was nice, I mean I thought it was fun, but then he obviously realised what a loser I was and then he just stopped talking to me." Rachel delivered the last line as if it was nothing at all, it wasn't as if she was trying to mask the sadness of it, it was just an everyday fact, and Quinn couldn't help but put her arms around her. She felt Rachel stiffen slightly, and the next thing she knew, Rachel was making a beeline for the kitchen. "I'll get you that drink now Santana! Brittany, Quinn would you like some too?"

"Sure" Quinn answered despondently. Santana pushed Brittany in the direction of the kitchen.

"Brittany's going to help you! If you have popcorn I could go for some of that too."

"Ok, that gives us about three minutes Q. What's going on? Why did it take you so long to get here?" Quinn gave her a condensed version of what had happened. "Wait a second, in one afternoon, you went from being enemies to telling her you cared about her, fucking her, then having a big feelings conversation with her and now she's hanging out with your best friends. Jesus Christ, could you be any gayer? By the end of the week you'll have moved in together, and by then end of the month you'll have pets together, maybe cats, with super gay names like Claude and Sheila, you'll spend all your time making ridiculously over the top baked goods for each other, and then you'll write stupid cryptic shit to each other on facebook and tumblr thinking you're being all cute and discreet when really we'll all know it means you've just been fucking! Gross."

"Ok stop Santana. I don't even know what we are, stop talking about our cats and shit!" Rachel and Brittany appeared back with a tray of glasses, a bottle of coke, two bowls of popcorn and some carrots.

"Do you have cats Quinn? I didn't know that!"

"No Britt, I don't, it was just…" Quinn blushed "Never mind actually, it's movie time! What did you guys bring?"

"Santana let me pick from her collection so I chose The Descent and Imagine Me & You"

"Oh great, I've never seen either of those!" Quinn glared at Santana,

"One is a scary movie with an all female cast and the other is a gay rom-com" and then muttered under her breath "Calling me the gayest, look in the mirror sometime Lopez, maybe I am winning the race, but not by much!"

"Sounds great, so which do we watch first?" Quinn quickly forgot about Santana though when she saw how content Rachel looked. She still wasn't super-intense, slightly-bossy sure of herself Rachel, but she did look happy. Santana put one of the DVD's in, and settled into the chair Brittany was sitting in, basically sitting across her lap, and draped an arm around her, while the other one was free to access the popcorn on her own lap. Quinn sat in the middle of the couch while Rachel turned the lights off, knowing she'd have to sit next to her, wondering how quickly she could ease them into a cuddling position. She pulled down the blinds, it was still bright out, so the room was still very gently lit by the evening sun. When Rachel sat down, however, she sat forward on the very end of the sofa, and stuck the other popcorn bowl between them. The movie started and Quinn very quickly learned that Rachel was an attentive film watcher. She leaned forward, completely entranced, so much so that she didn't even seem to notice when Brittany and Santana started to make out. She then hoped that Rachel would start to freak out once the horror really kicked in, maybe she would bury her head in Quinn's shoulder or even if she'd just lean back into the couch, Quinn could work something out. It didn't happen. The creatures appeared and Rachel remained completely engrossed. She soon discovered a fringe benefit though. Rachel made the cutest facial expressions, and Quinn realised that she'd given up even watching the film and was now basically just watching Rachel. She glanced over at the other two when she heard a quiet moan, and noticed Brittany's hand up Santana's sweater. Usually she would tell them to cut that shit out, but she didn't want to start a ruckus or disturb Rachel. The fact that they could probably start having sex and Rachel still wouldn't actually notice did occur to her, so she picked up a cushion and lobbed it over Rachel's head so it hit Santana's left arm, which had slowly started to creep up Brittany's top. She knew exactly what Quinn was at, so she broke her kiss, smiled at Brittany, took her sweater off and threw it at Quinn. It hit her, but before she could react, Rachel, while never taking her eyes off the screen, grabbed it and shoved it down the back of the sofa. She then grabbed the other two cushions and did the same.

"Just leave them Quinn, as long as they stay above the waist and nothing pops out it's fine. Don't distract me again please!"

They watched the rest of the film quietly, but as soon as it was over Rachel leapt to her feet.

"Ok, pee break for anyone who needs it, and I need to go and put my clothes in the machine!" Quinn stretched out along the sofa, strategising on how best to approach the hug Rachel issue for the next movie. Santana followed Rachel into the laundry room.

"Hey thanks Berry" Rachel whipped around, unaware of Santana's presence, and a little disarmed by the pleasant tone in Santana's voice

"Oh, it's fine, don't worry about."

"Quinn can be a real prude you know. In fact, Britt really likes to get her lady kisses on during the next film, so maybe you should physically restrain Quinn. Just so she doesn't ruin it for you. Maybe use your arms. Just to anchor her to prevent more of her bad behaviour. For your own viewing benefit obviously." Rachel smiled.

"Obviously" She turned the machine on and faced Santana again. "Now do you think this" she wrapped her arms around Santana, "where I trap her arms by her sides is the best plan?" She let go and then snaked her arms underneath Santana's so they were round her once again. She rested her head against Santana's shoulder, facing her neck, in a far more intimate embrace. "Or this is the most suitable way of getting her to behave herself?"

"Yeah sure, thanks, whatever works for you I guess" Santana squirmed out of Rachel's hug and practically ran out of the room. When Rachel walked back in everything was all set to go, and Quinn was still sprawled out on the couch. She went to sit up, and Rachel sat down where her head had been and looped her arm around her.

"It's fine you can lie down if you want" Quinn tentatively put her head down, and Rachel pulled her in closer so her head and shoulders were completely resting against Rachel's stomach and on her lap. Rachel then grabbed one of the cushions she'd shoved down and used it to prop up Quinns head. She draped her arm back over Quinn and began to play with the end of Quinn's hair with her other hand.

"Thanks. This is comfortable."

As they watched the movie in silence, Quinn noticed Santana and Brittany were far less affectionate this time. She was pretty sure it was actually Santana's favourite, despite the fact the girl would never admit to it and only claimed to have a copy because Brittany loved it. The first time she'd watched it she'd been in foul humour, because of the mess her life was in. She was still with Finn, she'd slept with Puck, but had no idea she was pregnant, and she'd noticed her boyfriend staring at Rachel numerous times during math class. As a result, she'd decided it was a stupid, cheesy, unrealistic crappy film, but then Santana and Brittany had made her watch it again and again, and she'd come to love it. Quinn spent more time watching the movie this time, glancing up at Rachel whenever she thought she could get away with it. Once it finished, Rachel had asked if they wanted anything to eat, but Brittany and Santana had decided that coke, carrots and popcorn was a perfect valid dinner, and they were now very sleepy, and thus needed to go to bed immediately, so Rachel showed them to the guest room and was now in the kitchen with Quinn. She stirred some soup on the hob while Quinn sat up on the counter and watched her.

"Sorry, soup really seems like a poor attempt at dinner!"

"It's fine, coach Sylvester says we're not supposed to have carbs after 6pm anyway." Rachel poured it into two bowls. "You know the bit in the movie where they're in the class room watching H's space thing, and that gentle background music is playing yeah?" Rachel nodded "Well Coldplay wrote lyrics for it. It's a really beautiful song, I love putting it in my sleep mix. I could play it for you later if you wanted?" Rachel yawned.

"Sounds great. Although I don't think I need a sleep playlist tonight. I'm definitely a little emotionally exhausted after today." Quinn grinned

"I don't know what you mean. I had a great day, I feel super." Rachel blushed.

As they headed upstairs still chatting away, Quinn followed Rachel into what she presumed was her room. Once inside however, she realised it was actually another guest room.

"So you can sleep in here." She leaned forward awkwardly, and then hesitatively kissed Quinn gently on the lips. "Goodnight" And then she whirled around and was gone. Quinn sat on the edge of the bed, trying to figure out what had happened. After a couple of minutes, she wandered out to Rachel's room, her fears of not being able to find it quickly dissipating when she noticed an enormous gold star on one of the doors, and knocked

"Rach, can I come in" Rachel opened the door.

"Sure, what's up?"

"Well, I don't mean to bother you, but I don't have any pj's. Or a toothbrush. Brittany and Santana got stuff at Santana's house but I didn't get a chance to"

"God, I'm sorry sorry! Where are my manners!" She grabbed a pair of shorts and a tank top out of her wardrobe. "Put these on and I'll just go see if there's a spare toothbrush in the main bathroom." Quinn began to change, slowly, but Rachel didn't appear back until she was fully clothed again. "I'm so sorry Quinn, I can't find one. I don't know if you're weird about mouth stuff, but you could use my toothbrush if you wanted?"

"Thanks Rach. If it doesn't bother you I'd really appreciate it. I cant sleep with dirty teeth, it feels horrible" They headed into Rachel's en-suite, and Quinn brushed her teeth while Rachel sat on the end of her bath. She spat her toothpaste out. "Maybe I could play that song for you just before we go to bed?"

"Sure." Quinn took her clothes and dumped them back in the guest room, grabbed her i-phone and headed back. Rachel was lying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. She stood awkwardly at the edge of the bed for a couple of seconds before crawling in next to Rachel. She hit play and the sound of _Your Love Means Everything_ began to quietly fill the air. She closed the gap between them, took hold of one of Rachel's hands, and placed the other one on her stomach. Rachel turned to face her, but Quinn couldn't figure her expression out. She moved her head even closer so that their foreheads were practically touching. With her free hand she tenderly stroked the side of Rachel's cheek, all the while holding eye contact. She slowly moved her lips against Rachel's. This kiss was different from their earlier ones. For Quinn it felt full of how much she cared, how much she wanted to just be with Rachel. It was slow and delicate, and Quinn waited until she felt Rachel's tongue swipe her bottom lip a couple of times before she allowed herself to deepen the kiss. She ran her hand along Rachel's side, perfectly content as her lips pressed against those of the girl she wanted for so long. She felt a tear-drop that wasn't her own hit the tip of her nose.

"Rachel! What's wrong? I'm so sorry!" Quinn began to get up

"No, no, it's not you, please don't go, I'm just tired" She scrambled to keep hold of Quinn, "Please don't leave me." Quinn relaxed back into their embrace, and kissed the couple of silent tears off her face.

"I want to have lots more days with you. Days where we spend the entire day hanging out. I like being with you. I like who you are Rachel. Very much so."

Quinn held Rachel, watching her drift off to sleep, worrying until tiredness overcame her too.


	6. Chapter 6

**How fucking INCREDIBLE was that duet? I died a little inside! Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon. Thank you so much for the reviews, I love love love getting them, they make my day :)**

Quinn woke up to her phone buzzing next to her head. She looked over at the girl asleep next to her. Rachel had fallen asleep wrapped in Quinn's arms, comfortably snuggled into her, but now the girl was facing the other direction, fast asleep in the foetal position with her arms wrapped tightly around herself. She picked up her phone. 8.03am and she had four missed calls, two voice messages and two texts. She read the texts first, both were from her mother demanding to know where she was and that she return home immediately. She quietly got up and got dressed, accidentally picking up the sweater Rachel had been wearing last night. It smelled just like her, she couldn't resist and decided she'd wear it home. She checked her self in the mirror, fixing her hair and suppressing a giggle. The notion of actually wanting to wear Rachel Berry's clothes was a pretty funny one already, but the thought of how Santana would react was what set her off. Looking ready to go, she walked over to Rachel's desk and picked up a pen, writing Rachel a note. She left it under the alarm clock on the bedside table and slipped out, unnoticed by the other girl still deep in a slumber.

She crept around the house, looking to see if Santana and Brittany were awake yet. Finding no trace of them she walked into the kitchen to grab a glass of water before she left. It was then she noticed the two bits of paper stuck to the fridge. One was from Santana and read:

_Yo, Rach, big thanks for last night, B and I had fun, __and as a token of my appreciation I'll have someone egg Shue's piece of shit car today! S_

The other was a drawing of a duck underneath which simply read

_I drew you a duck. Love Brittany x_

When Quinn got home, her mother was livid; the words "damned to hell" and "promiscuous behaviour will ruin you" were frequently thrown about. She'd tried to tell her mother she stayed in Rachel's house, but she's point blank refused to believe it, and even laughed in her face when she'd added that Santana and Brittany had stayed there too. She confiscated Quinn's phone, threw it in a drawer, picked up her car keys and told Quinn they'd be spending the day in church, praying she wasn't a fallen woman again. Part of Quinn wanted to pick a fight, to shout that she'd need to shower all the slut off her or the holy water would boil when she touched it, and how the morning after pill would stop pregnancies a hell of a lot better than sitting in the house of a god that allowed it's top people to plunder and destroy other cultures for centuries and then brazenly displayed it's stolen riches for everyone to see while preaching about helping people who were less well off. The more mature part of her however, realised that it would be easier to just go along and placate her mother today, because very soon she'd need to tell them how no boy would ever touch her again, and teen pregnancy would be the least of their worries. Instead she'd spend the day sitting in silence, wrapped in Rachel's sweater and Rachel's scent, thinking of creative dates she could take Rachel on and figuring out what she'd do once she was kicked out. College wouldn't be a problem, she had 4.0 average and had scored highly on her SATs, plus as head-cheerleader she was pretty much guaranteed a scholarship. It was the months between then and now that would prove to be a problem. Perhaps she could convince Coach Sylvester to let her sleep in one of her trophy rooms if she had Will removed as head of the Glee club. It had taken Rachel a week to get rid of the guy before him, she'd figure something out anyway, and sort it all out before she told them.

Rachel awoke to a loud banging at her door. She jumped out of bed, throwing on one of her famous animal sweaters as she raced down to answer the door. She signed for the package for one of her dads, and carried it into the office. She noticed how silent the house was and wondered if she was alone. She was a heavy sleeper, but it seemed kind of rude that Quinn had just left, especially after last night; she could have at least woken her to let her know instead of just abandoning her. The other two were a different story; the fact that they were even acknowledging that she was a person was a revelation. She began to clean up the mess from last night, gathering all the glasses and bowls and carrying them into the kitchen. It was then she noticed the fridge. She stood staring, pursing her lips, feeling a grin spread from the bottom of her stomach and a tear slide down her left cheek. It was such a simple gesture, something they'd spent less than two minutes doing, and yet for Rachel it meant more than anything had in a long time to her. She looked around for one from Quinn, her joy dissipating when she didn't find it. She decided to shake it off and call Quinn. It rang out, and after her third attempt she gave up. She finished tidying up and noticed Santana's sweater shoved down the back of the couch. She folded it and set it on the table. Her house was so quiet. Usually she adored having the house to herself; it gave her a chance to practice her harmonizing with Barbra, so she'd be ready for when she eventually got the chance to sing with her. Today however, she had no desire to even listen to anything. She sat in silence for a few minutes before deciding she'd just go for it.

Twenty minutes later she stood outside Santana's door, clutching the sweater, having just rung the doorbell. The fear began to creep back again. Perhaps this wasn't a good idea. Quinn had explained her previous behaviour, and she'd never actually feared Quinn or her wrath, but Santana was a different story. Before she could turn around and run however, Santana's mother, who Rachel only knew from seeing at school cheer-leading events, she'd never once attended a glee competition, opened the door.

"Hello Mrs Lopez, my name is Rachel Berry and I'm here to see Santana please"

"Hello. Wait you're Rachel Berry?" Rachel felt the fear rise in her chest as Santana's warning came crashing back, she opened her mouth, but she couldn't speak, so she settled for nodding her head. "Oh. Ok well come in." Rachel's mind whizzed as to why she'd been warned, perhaps her mother was homophobic and hated her dad's, or maybe she knew what a total loser Rachel was, although why that would bother her wasn't clear. "I've heard so much about you, I'd love to have you sing for me some day, Santana tells me you're the most talented person she's ever met and that someday you'll be the toast of Broadway" Rachel literally felt her heart swell, and decided she immediately forgave Santana for every mean thing she'd ever done.

"Well I am extremely dedicated and years of practice have perfected my pitch and…" Santana's mother smirked and cut her off

"She also says you're a little too aware of how great you are and you dress like a mentally-challenged lesbian former-nun recently released from prison" Rachel's face fell, "But, occasionally you get it right and she makes sure to let you know and stop the slushies on those days. When she and Quinn came up with that MVP award for you,"

"Wait that was Quinn and Santana? Mr Shuester said it was his idea"

"Oh please, half of their plotting was how they'd get him to go along with it!" It was at this point that Santana appeared having caught the tail end of the conversation

"What the hell, I told you not to tell my Mom who you were, and stop discussing our private conversations mija! Why do people keep telling you my secrets Berry?"

"I don't know, but I don't dislike it!" Rachel grinned. "Also does mija not mean daughter, or do we just have the worst Spanish teacher ever?" Santana's mother reached out and playfully messed with her daughter's hair.

"It's what she calls me when she gets mad at me or stroppy and she wants to be condescending without being flat out rude, isn't that right mi sol?"

"Ok enough! What's up Rachel?"

"Oh, right, well I brought back your sweater and I was just wondering if maybe I could have a quick word with you about Quinn please?" Rachel could have sworn she saw a little smile cross Mrs Lopez's face, but she didn't get a chance to look properly as Santana had grabbed her and dragged her up the stairs to her room.

"You're room is nice, and so is your mom actually. Also thank you so much for my note this morning, and although the egging offer is tempting I wouldn't want to see you be criminally prosecuted for a crime of passion committed against someone as heinous and unworthy as Will Shuester!"

"Rachel, stop rambling and ask me whatever you want to ask me about Quinn"

"Well first off, do you know where she is?"

"Nope, when B and I left this morning her car was still there. Haven't heard from her since then."

"Well she just left me. She didn't say bye or anything"

"Oh. Well she's usually not like that. Did you call her?"

"Yeah but she didn't answer. Maybe you should try" Her voice went very quiet, and as tears began to form in her eyes. Santana could see the crack in the girl's façade. She reached out, scowled slightly, let out a sigh of exasperation, and hugged Rachel.

"Listen Berry, don't get used to this, you get a quota of three hugs from me in your entire life so make sure you enjoy this one. Quinn is not Finn. She's not just going to ignore you to go play video-games for the day. She really likes you. If she's not answering then her mom has taken her phone or she's left it somewhere." Rachel sobbed.

"I just don't understand. I don't understand. There are things I know. I am talented, I'm intelligent, I'm extremely vocal about my opinions, I'm a loser and I'm in no way conventionally attractive at all. I live for singing and performing. Except I don't know anything anymore. Everything is just, I don't know, I don't feel things properly anymore. When Finn and I had our first fight I cried for three days, and then I got angry and kissed Puck, and then I wrote a thinly-veiled song for Jessie about how I could understand the need to do anything for singing success but being a jerk for no reason was unacceptable. It was called _Why I can get past being egged but you can't be angry at me for who I am just because I am better than you_. I actually sang it for him but he thankfully he didn't seem to realise it was about him. When we broke up I cried for less than half an hour. And that was it" Santana laughed.

"That boy is so dumb, and so bad at sex, if he goes bald or gets fat his life is really going to suck!"

"Well I wouldn't know" Santana could hear a hint of malice and contempt in her voice

"You didn't sleep with him? I am pleasantly surprised! Trust me, he is bad, like super bad, you did not miss out."

"Well I always wanted to wait until I was 25. And then one day after he saw my boobs we were having an honest conversation and he explained that mine were inferior and that made me way to self-conscious to actually be naked around him."

"That boy is an actual ass! He's probably only ever seen porn boobs anyway! I kept my top on when we did it." Santana pulled back Rachel's sweater at the neck and peered downwards. "Plus they look really quite nice to me, and I know Quinn likes them!" Rachel blushed, she'd stopped crying now, and Santana laughed. "Plus, although you're not girl-next-door beautiful like Quinn or Brittany, or hot and exotic like me, when you try you look amazing. The little black dress, the Britney Spears outfit, some of those little skirts you have, I've told you every time, just stay away from the penny loafers and the pant suits"

"And the animal jumpers right?"

"Actually no, Quinn seems to have developed a weird fetish for them, and Britt kind of likes them too, so most of them can stay. Have you seen what you've done to Q's fashion sense though? The other day she came over dressed in blue tights, a flowery yellow cardigan, and a fedora. It was like she got dressed out of your wardrobe or something. That was before you even hooked up. That's like, super gay." Rachel laughed and Santana soon found herself chuckling too. Once they stopped Rachel began to fidget and stare at her hands.

"So, what's it going to be like, in school on Monday?"

"Honestly? I'll probably still be rude to you. BUT I'll be rude in the same way I am to Quinn, honestly rude, which you kind of have down too Rachel. I'll stick up for you in glee more often. Ok?" Santana smiled at Rachel, and her eyes seemed more sincere than Rachel had ever seen them look before. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against Santana's.

**Don't be mad! I really will to update it soon. Again, reviews are greatly appreciated, thanks for reading! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: This took longer than I expected, but it's really long, I expect chapters to be about 2,000 words long and this one's nearly 6,000 so that makes up for it right? Hope you enjoy it, and if you do, it wouldn't kill you to review it you know! Even if you just want to criticise it, I'd like to hear from you please! Youtube the songs, they're all awesome and totally worth it! **

"RACHEL!" Santana pushed her back "Listen Berry, there are three outcomes from your lips trying to mac on mine. The first, from the opinion that I am a sex shark and have admitted that you are reasonably attractive in your own special way, is that I would sex you up good. This is never going to happen. For one, I love Brittany, I've had enough of messing around, and I don't want that any more. Plus, despite how we behave towards each Quinn is my best friend, I…" she coughed and rolled her eyes "Well I do love her, and she really loves you, so this can never happen."

"But" Tears began to slide down Rachel's cheek.

"Shut-up Berry! Opinion two is that I would literally smack your ass down for even thinking your worthy of looking at me never mind mashing your monkey mouth on mine. Obviously though, neither of those are going to get us anywhere. I am great, I mean ridiculously good, at sex, and you would likely become obsessed with me if we did it and end up giving up on your Broadway dreams to be my sex slave." Rachel smiled through her tears.

"So what is going to happen then?"

"Well I'm pretty sure I know exactly why you just did that, aside from the fact I am an actual goddess of course." Rachel looked at her expectantly. "However, I can't just tell you what's wrong with you, much as I'd like to. Like for starters the penny loafers, I can get past the sweaters but those damn shoes, just no Berry, just no. Also your personality, that correcting everyone and making sure they know exactly why you're so much better than them"

"Hey! I don't really do that any more! I think you'll find that actually"

"That's the point, it's annoying, but it's usually kind of true. I actually think it's similar to my awesome bitchy truth smack-down. It's a part of who you are Rachel, I mean really, do you want end up like most of those boring turtle-faced losers we go to school with? And be warned this next bit is going to hurt, but think about it, Quinn didn't just wake up the other day, look at you and realise that you were special and she suddenly wanted to be all gross and all over you, and with you all the time. She talked about you so much when she first met you, I'm pretty sure she still has that stupid gold star you gave her the first day you met her. The fact is, for some no-doubt mentally compromised reason, Quinn likes you for that loud, outspoken, ambitious, every-moment-in-your-life-can-be-turned-into-a-song girl that you are, not some shell of that who's now just your average Lima loser."

"Well if she really"

"Shut up. She won't break up with you. Quinn actually sets herself pretty high moral standards, but underneath all that ridiculous church crap and the necessary scheming she does to get shit done, she actually has a good heart. A really good heart. It can be annoying as hell; you should prepare yourself for that by the way. But basically, she'll still love you, even if you continue down this give-up path that you're on."

"So what's your point then?"

"The point Rachel, is that duh, while you're like this, you can't be happy. If you can't be happy then Quinn can't be happy. Plus, Quinn is going to blame herself for your shit, we didn't treat you so great, and she's going to believe she's the one responsible."

"But she's not, I forgive her, I understand!"

"Yeah for now, and at first you'll resist, when she blames herself you'll reassure her and tell her it's not her fault, but then eventually you'll stop. At first you'll just ignore her, and then you'll grow bitter at the fact she still blames herself, so much so that eventually you will start to blame her, and then you'll drag her down into your sad shit, and then who will I have to keep me on my toes? You could be considerate for half a second and think about me you know." Rachel laughed "Good, less of the sad shit! Rachel have you been working on anything lately? I've noticed the less you sing, the worse you get, so you need to sing this shit out. There has to be something, something you can channel some emotions through."

"I just haven't found anything," Rachel paused and chewed her bottom lip, staring down at her hands tightly locked together "Or I don't know, maybe I just can't be bothered to try and find anything."

"Rachel, please. Sing me something, anything. Please."

"I can't"

"Ok fine, fuck the please then. Rachel Barbra Berry, if you don't sing me some crazy emotional song I swear to Lucifer I will ruin anything you could ever hope to have with Quinn. Don't test me midget, because this fiery Latina will burn you, do you understand?" Rachel stayed silent. She did her best to stare Santana down, but once she realised she couldn't break the taller girl, she stared down at her hands again. She inhaled deeply, before starting quietly

_I'm in here, can anybody see me?_

_Can anybody help?_

_I'm in here, a prisoner of history,_

_Can anybody help?_

_Can't you hear my call?_

_Are you coming to get me now?_

_I've been waiting for_

_You to come rescue me._

_I need you to hold_

_All of the sadness I cannot_

_Live with inside of me._

_I'm in here, I'm trying to tell you something,_

_Can anybody help?_

_I'm in here, I'm calling out but you can't hear,_

_Can anybody help?_

_Can't you hear my call?_

_Are you coming to get me now?_

_I've been waiting for_

_You to come rescue me._

_I need you to hold_

_All of the sadness I cannot_

_Live with inside of me._

_I'm crying out, I'm breaking down,_

_I am fearing it all,_

_Stuck inside these walls,_

_Tell me there is hope for me_

_Is anybody out there listening?_

_Can't you hear my call?_

_Are you coming to get me now?_

_I've been waiting for_

_You to come rescue me._

_I need you to hold_

_All of the sadness I cannot_

_Live with inside of me._

_Can't you hear my call?_

_Are you coming to get me now?_

_I've been waiting for_

_You to come rescue me._

_I need you to hold_

_All of the sadness I cannot_

_Live with inside of me._

_I'm in here, can anybody see me?_

_Can anybody help? _

"Shit. Rachel that was pretty heart-breaking. You really are a sad little clown aren't you? Fuck. Ok, well guess what Berry, next week you and I are going to sing a duet in glee club. Enough of this sadness, we're taking this in a new direction." She laughed at her own joke before continuing "Hopefully Will Douchester will be too shocked over the two of us together to start his usual line of questioning like what do you think this song would sound like if Journey covered it? Or why aren't you singing with Mercedes? I don't understand! Jackass. Of course Brittany's going to think there's a bird in his hat when said hat sits on that nest he styles his hair into!"

"So what are we going to sing then?"

"Pass me my laptop, and prepare yourself Berry, for the best damn performance you've ever participated in!"

Quinn sat in church, her ass now sore from two and a half hours of wooden pew beneath it, knowing she'd still be sat there three hours from now. She sat there smugly in silence, thinking of fun things she could do with Rachel. She wanted to take Rachel on an expensive date, to a fancy restaurant in Van Wert or Pandora, maybe she could even convince her father she needed money for a school trip and splash out on a hotel. Fuck it, once she dropped the gay bomb they'd kick her out anyway, and little lies would be the least of their worries. Perhaps she'd just figure out a way to take it. Stealing was awful, but really, considering once she became homeless again her best hope of a romantic date with Rachel would be a picnic under the stars with food from the clearance aisle of Daleys discount groceries, she'd get past it. Free dates were great in romantic stories where they were seldom mentioned and brushed over until the hero suddenly found his fortune, but in the real world, sitting outside was something that thanks to the weather, the wild-life and the fact the lived in Lima, not Paris or Melbourne or some place exotic where there were plenty of beautiful places to go rather than one park that included the local pervert Jimmy, meant that Rachel would get bored quickly. She still had to figure out exactly where she was going to live, the best idea she come up with so far was to see if she could get a live-in job in a hotel, a genius plan she devised while watching old episodes of the Gilmore Girls while living with Puck. She'd start applying as soon as she got home tonight. Well, maybe she'd sneak out to see Rachel first. Priorities are just as important as metaphors after all.

Rachel arrived home to an empty house again, pleased with her duet, and ready to form a plan to deal with Quinn. Her first one, which involved arriving at the Fabray's front door, bang on the door and loudly demand an explanation as to how Quinn could just leave her like that, however, that probably wouldn't sit so well with her parents, and more importantly, she couldn't think of a suitable song. She'd been home about half an hour, still waiting for Quinn to call, the anger slowly bubbling up inside her. Kissing Santana was pretty stupid, but whatever, Quinn was worse right? She just left. That was just rude and mean and not the behaviour of someone in love. Any guilt she had from earlier was pretty much gone. She went up to her room, and sat on her bed. She had to go shopping, she'd make a list of stuff she needed and then on the way home she call into to Quinn's house and see what reason would possibly be good enough to justify leaving without saying goodbye and then ignoring her for a day. As she reached for the pen, she noticed the piece of paper sticking out from under her alarm clock. She pulled it out and opened it

Dear Rach,

I'm so sorry to have to leave you, but apparently my mother has picked today to be one of the few days she doesn't just drunkenly ignore me. Apparently staying out all night and not telling her where I was wasn't one of my best plans. Sunday is church day anyway, so I'm pretty sure she'll make me go and sit it one for the entire day to correct my sins. I had a really nice time with you last night, you have no idea how badly I want to just turn my phone off and spend the day in bed with you, even if all we do is lie there, cuddling and spooning. You look so beautiful right now, I want to kiss your sleeping face, but if I touch you at all I'll never leave. You're really important to me Rachel, I've never wanted anything as much as I want you, I wish I could make you understand just how special you are. You are a star, that's pretty obvious, but to me you are the sun. I'll try and sneak out to see you later tonight, but if I don't make it I'll see you in school tomorrow

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Fuck. She hadn't just left. Quinn was spending the day in religious prison, pining for her, and she'd presumed the worst, and then tried to kiss Santana, the girl Quinn had been best friends with for pretty much her entire life. A damn inside her burst, and this time when she cried it wasn't just a few tears, it was a river. She tried to focus on her breathing, in and out as quietly as she could. She refused to allow herself to just sit there and wallow. She pushed her feelings down, got up, walked down the stairs, grabbed the house keys, and left.

Pucks Nana had sent him to get a brownie mix and denture cleaner. It was a Sunday afternoon, he was tired and bored, but he loved the old lady, so simple trips to the grocery store for her were something he actually kind of enjoyed. It was weird, but buying shit like lady magazines and prunes and Fixodent actually kind of made him feel like a man. It probably had something to do with being a provider, or maybe it was the fact that she trusted him completely, she'd hand him a fifty dollar bill and never for a second doubt that he'd come back with what she wanted and the change. His own mother locked her purse away, but she treated him like a responsible adult. He was wandering down the baking aisle when he spotted her. Her hair was unusually messy, her face pale and gaunt with tear streaks down her cheeks. She looked at him and he noticed how empty and vacant her eyes looked. Rachel Berry was a hot little Jew, but right now she just looked like shit.

"RACHEL!" Puck surprised himself and everyone around him with the loudness of his voice. "Sorry, Rachel, what's wrong? Why are you pushing around a massive kart with just two cartons of milk in it. You know as a vegan you can't drink that right?" She didn't reply, she just stared at him and shrugged her shoulders. He walked over and put his arms around her. "Ok enough. Come on" He put his arm around her, grabbed the closest cupcake mix he could see, and ushered her to the check-out, leaving her kart in the middle of the aisle. He paid for the two items he had in his hand and walked her out to his car, where he opened the passenger door and helped her climb in. "We're going to my Nana's house. She's been asking to see you for a while now anyway. She told me not to listen to Finn and his stupid bro-code from the beginning, and I'm really sorry Rachel. I like hanging out with you."

As they stood in front of the door, waiting for his Nana to open it, Puck realised he still had absolutely no idea what was wrong with Rachel. She hadn't spoken to him. The next thing he knew, his Nana, who had taken forever just to walk to the door to open it, had flung it up and was now hugging Rachel and kissing her face.

"You're back! It's so good to see you little Berry! Why have you not been to temple recently? Never mind, I'm so glad you're here! You look terrible though, what's the matter? Is it that stupid tall boy again? I swear, he doesn't have enough brain cells to fit inside a suppository!"

"Nana! That's disgusting!"

"Hello Mrs Puckerman, it's lovely to see you too"

"Come inside, come inside!"

They sat drinking tea, as Puck apologised for just ignoring Rachel over and over, his Nana occasionally leaning over to smack the back of his head. Rachel began to open up very vaguely, but without details her story made little sense.

"Wait wait wait, is this about you and Quinn? Did something finally happen?"

"Wait Rachel is gay? Is that why you're not together?"

"Jesus, just"

"WAIT WAIT WAIT, IS THAT WHY YOU LEFT TEMPLE?"

"What because I'm gay? No, of course not, my dad's are gay!"

"So it is Quinn, I knew it!"

"Shut up Noah, Rachel, why are you saying that name? I'm so disappointed in you."

"Because I'm gay? That's awful, I thought you were different, Rabbi Sherman preaches acceptance!"

"TELL ME ABOUT QUINN ALREADY!"

"No Rachel, I'm happy for you if you're a homosexual, you know I respect and admire your fathers, I just don't understand why you have to become a Christian!"

"Nana, I've told you before, people just use Jesus as an expression, it doesn't mean they're Christian! The Hindu dude in the convenience store says it all the time. Chill. But if Rachel wants to turn her back on her heritage and her religion I'll still support her."

"I'm still Jewish! I'm sorry I missed temple, I just wanted to avoid you and Noah to be honest."

"Ok, ok, I need to go lie down, that was a lot of excitement. Noah bring Rachel with you again soon please. Let yourselves out." She walked out and up the stairs, pausing to shout down "By the way, there's some of my medicine in the cupboard over the sink if you want it. Bye Rachel!"

Puck gave Rachel huge cheesy questioning grin, at which she laughed

"I guess a little bit wouldn't hurt"

"Puck, Puck, Puck, Puck. You just don't understand. I HAVE SOOOOOOO MANY FEELINGS! Or I used to. But now I don't! Or they're different. They're not right. I don't know how to be happy or sad or angry or passionate or afraid or anything."

"Rachel, what happened with Quinn just tell me, just do it"

"Hahahaha, just do it! We did it! Under the bleachers. Well she did me anyway. It was AWESOME. First we were just kissing, and then she was staring at my inferior boobs"

"Rachel your boobs are awesome! They're like you, compact but really great, and it's basically impossible to not pay attention to them anytime they're around! Why would you think they're not great, they're like, super great, like when you get reese's"

"Quinn kissed my lady parts! AND SHE LIKED IT!"

"FUCK RACHEL! That's…. You're the best! Was it good?"

"It was REALLY REALLY good!" Rachel burst into tears "But I ruined it, I kissed Santana even though I want Quinn and now it's all fucked. I just fucked everything. And I never even got to fuck her!"

"Rachel Berry, you are one of the smartest, most driven, mildly crazy girls I've ever met, if you want to fix this we'll make a plan! Although you're really high at the moment, so we might have to start over in an hour or two. Also I'd like to hug you, but given that you don't seem to understand the difference between friendship and romantic interest, I'm worried we'll get down and then Quinn'll beat my ass" His tone was teasing, completely unserious, and Rachel snorted

"That's not funny! I've taken martial arts self defence, I have skills, mad skills, and I will hurt you!"

"No one else is anywhere near as fun to get high with Berry, weed usually dulls peoples emotion and mellows them out, I don't really understand how you become so rude and so funny, but I fucking love it! Now lets get to work!"

Just before the end of Glee club, Santana made eye-contact with Rachel and nodded.

"Mr Schue, sorry to interrupt your…" She paused, frowning, "Well I don't know what that speech was about, I wasn't listening because I really don't care, but I'm going to sing now." She got up and walked towards the microphones fixing one at her height. The band began to play. She took one of the other microphone's off it's stand and offered it to Rachel, who was still sitting down. "By the way, it's a duet, and you're all forbidden to speak until we're done, got that bitches?" She threw them a warning side-eye as Rachel joined her

(**Santana**) (_Rachel_) (_**together)**_

_La la la la la la_

**Everyday I fight for**

**All my future somethings**

**A thousand little words**

**I have to choose between**

**I could spend a lifetime**

**Earning things I don't need**

**That's like chasing rainbows**

**And coming home empty**

**And if you strip me,**

_Strip it all away_

**If you strip me,**

**What would you find**

**If you strip me,**

_Strip it all away_

_Ill be all right_

_Take what you want_

**Steal my pride**

_Build me up_

**Or cut me down to size**

_Shut me out_

**But I'll just scream**

_I'm only one voice in a million_

_**But you ain't taking that from me**_

**Oh oh no you ain't taking that from me **

_Oh oh no you ain__'t taking that from me_

_**Oh oh no you ain**__**'t taking that from me**_

_**Oh oh no you ain't taking that from me**_

_I don't need a microphone_

_To say what I been thinking_

_My heart is like a loudspeaker_

_That's always on eleven_

_And if you strip me,_

**Strip it all away**

_If you strip me,_

_What would you find_

_If you strip me,_

**Strip it all away**

_I'm still the same_

**Take what you want**

_Steal my pride_

**Build me up**

_Or cut me down to size_

**Shut me out**

**But I'll just scream**

_I'm only one voice in a million_

_**But you ain**__**'t taking that from me**_

_**Oh oh no you ain't taking that from me **_

_**Oh oh no you ain't taking that from me**_

_**Oh oh no you ain't taking that from me**_

_**Oh oh no you ain't taking that from me**_

_Cos when it all boils down_

_At the end of the day_

_It's what you do and say_

_That makes you who you are_

_Makes you think about,_

**Think about it**

_Doesn't it_

_**Sometimes all it takes is one voice**_

_**Take what you want**_

_**Steal my pride**_

_**Build me up**_

_**Or cut me down to size**_

_**Shut me out**_

_**But I'll just scream**_

_**I'm only one voice in a million**_

_**But you ain't taking that from me**_

**Oh oh no you ain't taking that from me**

_Oh oh no you ain__'t taking that from me_

**Oh oh no you ain****'t taking that from me**

_Oh oh no you ain__'t taking that from me_

"You guys that was amazing! Why have you two never sung together before, that was really great!"

"Thanks 'Cedes! It was my song choice! Maybe we should try a little girl-group trio next time, I mean, we'd get at least one good song out before one of us killed Berry!"

"Guys, that was really empowering. I seriously feel great. I mean really, I wanna go like, apply for college, or beat my old Sonic the Hedgehog high-score, or something!"

"Noah, you're appreciation of our efforts is really very flattering, thanks!"

"Rachel, you can't keep singing about being in love with me. We broke up a while ago now, and it's getting really desperate. And you shouldn't hang around with Santana, she'll just use you to get what she wants." At this, Quinn let out a sarcastic cackle.

"God Finn, you're so right! Rachel will never love anyone but you. I bet she'll never even kiss another boy again after you. Everything Rachel does is about you Finn. Everything" She gave him her best HBIC smile, trying hard to stifle her laughter.

"I know right?" The sarcasm had clearly gone right over Finn's head "It's great that we're friends Quinn. Maybe you could talk to her? Just as a friendly favour to me. You could, you know, explain how you got over me or something?" Rachel stood there through out the exchange, completely wide-eyed. Quinn had had to turn her back to her, as her expression was just pushing the laughter building inside her closer to the surface.

"Maybe as a personal favour, but you'd owe me big time Hudson"

"Definitely, anything you want Quinn, thank you so much!"

"Right, Glee is over, everyone please leave, Rachel and I need to have words!" As the glee club began to disperse, Brittany walked out next to Finn. She turned to him

"They're probably going to have sex now" His face scrunched up in confusion and he stopped walking, causing Mike to accidently kick the back of his left calf muscle.

"OW! And what? Dude that really hurt!" Rachel could have sworn at this point she saw Mike and Quinn share a fleeting glance and a small smile, but she was distracted by Santana grabbing Brittany around the waist

"She said we'll probably have sex now, because I'm a very enthusiastic performer and I know how to rev those engines, so bye guys see you later!" and with that the pair were gone.

"Sorry dude, you know how it is, sometimes you just bump into stuff, right?" In the five years Rachel had known Mike she'd never once seen him bump into anything, or trip, or drop stuff. Part of what made him such an incredible dancer was the fact that he was so agile and had lightening reflexes, but Finn seemed to accept this, nodding as they left together. She didn't have more time to process this, as all of a sudden, it was just her and Quinn. She could feel her guilt sitting in the bottom of her stomach, it was holding down the dread, like two lobsters fighting inside her. She tried to push it even further down, and her face hurt from trying to keep a smile upon it and not burst into tears again. Quinn walked to the door, shut it, walked back over to her, eyed her curiously, took her hand and kissed her gently. She felt her left eye betray her as one solitary tear journeyed down her cheek. She pulled away, and Quinn looked at her, confused and concerned, but also hurt. She looked really hurt, and she hadn't even heard about how awful the girl she loved really was.

"Rach?" Quinn brushed the tear away with her free hand.

"I need something from you, please, please, I'm sorry"

"Sure, anything, I'd do anything to help you." She no longer looked hurt, just worried now.

"Ok, well I need you to sit down, and I need you to just listen to me, and it's selfish, but I need you to just listen to me and let me sing to you. And then you can do or say whatever you want to me. Please?"

Quinn nodded, and ran her finger over her lips. "Ok, well I got your note. I loved it, and I love you Quinn Fabray." Quinn beamed, and the voice in her head telling her to just shut up and pretend it never happened got exponentially louder, but she continued. "But I didn't find it when I woke up. I saw Santana and Brittanys' notes, and I thought you'd just left, because maybe you were scared or something. And I tried to call you, but I didn't know where you were and I thought you were avoiding me. I found Santana's sweater so I brought it over to her house." She'd started to cry again, quietly sobbing and breathing in sharply between each sentence. Quinn's face had turned pale, but her expression was unreadable. "So, her mom was there, and she was really nice to me, and she told me how you and Santana orchestrated the whole MVP thing." She paused and wiped her tears away, smiling at Quinn. "Thanks by the way, that really meant so much to me. But then anyway, Santana and I were talking, and she was trying to be nice, telling me you wouldn't just blow me off, and stuff, she even gave me a hug, and then I don't know, I was just feeling horrible and she made me feel better, and I'm really sorry, I feel so awful about it now, I wish I could take it back, but I can't, because I did it, I kissed her and I'm so, so sorry, I'm so sorry Quinn." Rachel watched as Quinn somehow without even moving, sunk back into her seat, looking smaller than she'd ever seen before. "I'm going to sing for you now, and when I'm finished if you want to leave and never speak to me again, I'll understand."

She walked over the door, opened it called out for Brad, as he appeared around the door, and took his seat at the piano. Puck then wandered in, guitar strung over his back, smiled at Rachel and then began to play.

_Tender is the night_

_lying by your side._

_Tender is the touch_

_of someone that you love too much._

_Tender is the day_

_the demons go away._

_Lord, I need to find __someone who can heal my mind._

_Come on, come on, come on_

_get through it._

_Come on, come on, come on_

_love's the greatest thing._

_Come on, come on, come on_

_get through it._

_Come on, come on, come on_

_love's the greatest thing, that we have,_

_I'm waiting for that feeling,waiting for that feeling,_

_waiting for that feeling to come..._

_Oh my baby, oh my baby_

_Tender is the ghost_

_The ghost I love the most._

_Hiding from the sun_

_waiting for the night to come._

_Tender is my heart_

_it's screwing up my life._

_Lord, I need to find_

_someone who can heal my mind..._

_Tender is the night_

_lying by your side._

_Tender is the touch_

_of someone that you love to much._

_Tender is my heart_

_it's screwing up my life._

_Lord, I need to find_

_someone who can heal my mind..._

_Oh my baby, oh my baby_

_Heal me, heal me_

She sat on the floor staring at her shoes as she silently wept, unable to watch Quinn leave. She felt a small laugh rippled through her tears as thoughts popped into her head as to when she'd felt this bad before. When her mother rejected her, and when they'd lost Regionals, when she'd had her first massive fight with her Dad, she'd told him she honestly hated him. It was the first and only time she'd ever seen him cry, and at the time she was sure it was the worst feeling she'd ever have. The thought that she'd be sitting in a heap on the floor crying over the fact Quinn Fabray didn't love her anymore was one of the last things she'd ever have expected to make her feel even worse than that. She heard Puck take a couple of footsteps towards her, but he stopped before he reached her. She looked up to see why, and then noticed Quinn had quietly sat down next to her. She looked pale and slightly dazed, but she wasn't crying.

"Rachel." She wiped her eyes, trying to stop the tears and forced herself to meet Quinns eyes. It was completely inappropriate, the timing couldn't have been worse, but as her eyes swept up Quinns body she couldn't help but think about just how sexy and beautiful and perfect Quinn was sprawled out on the floor, and for a split second she wondered what would happen if she just leapt on her and kissed her. "Rachel do you want Santana? Do you want to be with Santana?"

"No! No, I promise definitely not, I just want you, only you! I'm so sorry Quinn, I'm so sorry"

"Well ok then. Stop crying and stop apologising." She leaned in, slowly and hesitantly this time, Rachel could feel her breath upon her lips, mixing with hers, and she tentatively traced her lips along her own. It was the most chaste, sexual kiss Rachel had ever experienced, but it made her heart feel like perhaps it would break her chest. Quinn pulled away, looked into her eyes and smiled. "Besides, I haven't done this properly either. Rachel Barbra Berry, please be my girlfriend?"

"Yay! Oh sorry!" Both girls were suddenly reminded that Puck was in the room, and Rachel snapped her neck around to look at him, only to find he was facing away from them.

"Puck you turned around!"

"Well I wanted to give you some privacy, but I didn't want to leave in case Quinn… Well that's irrelevant now anyway; just answer your lady already!" Rachel stood up and held Quinns hand to help her up.

"Lucy Quinn Fabray, I think you are the sweetest, kindest, most beautiful girl I've ever met in my entire life, I'd be honoured and unbelievably happy to be your girl."

"Whoop whoop! Lady love! Party at my house tomorrow night to celebrate!" He then turned around guitar in his left hand, and proceeded to hug them together. "You know usually two girls, a guy and a guitar turns out differently."

"Noah Puckerman, you are the best friend I have, but if you try and suggest a threesome I will beat you with my tiny fists!"

"Relax, I wouldn't just do that! I'm smarted than I look you know!" Quinn laughed, as Rachel's adorable angry face relaxed. "I'd at least have the sense to get you both blind drunk first, duh!" Rachel punched him as hard as she possibly could, right in the nipple. "OWW! Fuck that hurt!" She grinned,

"I'm smart too."

"Ok, ok, I was kidding, but seriously, my mom's taking my little sister on some school trip to Washington tomorrow, so we'll have a little fun, just a few red cups, no biggie."

"I don't know Noah, it is a school night after all."

"You know what, as long as it's not some crazy drug-fuelled rager we'll come. Seriously Puck, don't let it get out of hand!" Quinn wrapped herself around Rachel's back and whispered quietly into her ear

"Your dad's aren't back until tomorrow, I want to go back to your house right now, or I'll be forced to start undressing you, and touching you, and you'll have the loudest, most amazing orgasm right here, in the choir room where you sing your heart out every week, in front of Puck, ok?" Rachel felt her face flush bright red as a certain familiar wetness seeped through her panties. She opened her mouth to speak and her voice came out at a higher pitch than she thought possible,

"Bye Noah, we have to go now, see you tomorrow" as she ran out the door knowing Quinn was following closely behind while Puck just stood there laughing.

**A/N 2: Yeah, so the next chapter is sex and a party, that sounds like no fun at all right? Reviews will probably make me write faster, they're nice to get.**

**Songs: I'm in here by Sia, Strip me by Natasha Bedingfield and Tender by Blur, LISTEN TO THEM! I'll put them all up on tumblr tonight, you can look me up there if you want, I have the same username.**


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